What a fun, sexy time for you. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you’re tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. I’m going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. There’s a girl in my soup! A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I’m going to run this through again on “pots and pans.” After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It’s just Mom and whores. He… she… what’s the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. There’s a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. He’s a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. Are you sure this isn’t her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say.Michael: That’s an awful thing to say. Hey, look at that – you’re mean sober, too.

Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I’m late. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you’ve been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. I’ve always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I’ll never forget your wedding.

Daddy horny, Michael. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn’t.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother’s Cher jumpsuit. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I’d eat the inside of your ear. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy’s a pro.)

Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. COME ON! First I blow him, then I poke him. For there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out, can I walk free of pain. Never once touched my per diem. I’d go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin’. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Stop licking my hand, you horse’s ass! Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that’s not even including Buster’s Swatch.

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That’s a cross. Across from where? Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. Butterscotch! Want a lick? They want to break his legs. It’s a good thing he’s already got that little scooter. I’ll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it’s breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. She’s not ‘that Mexican’, Mom. She’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something. Oh, I don’t have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn’t eat that, did you?

It’s a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? Don’t worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. ♪♪ It ain’t easy being white… ♪♪ Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not – NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point.

Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop’s lap and drive?

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